A Season Of Meeting Myself

Healing isn’t damage control. It isn’t fixing what’s broken. It’s a return. A remembering. A pathway back to a wholeness that was always there, not a construction project from scratch. The healing reveals; it doesn’t create.

Healing to become whole is the internal journey: the peeling back of layers, the discovery of self through gentle confrontation and in nurturing accountability. This is the beginning of the receiving posture.

Building to (BE)come whole is the external expression: the action, the creation that flows from having done that internal work. This is the giving posture.

One must come before the other. The building isn’t the goal. The being within the building is.

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I used to solely lead from a place of nurturing in every aspect with everyone, hoping and expecting that the other person would know accountability must be taken. That was painfully short-lived. It became a mirror, reflecting the places I was hiding within myself. Like coddling and nursing my emotions when I knew very well I needed to take accountability. I haven’t been showing up the way I would like to, so I cannot blame anyone or anything. Because when have I ever taken a moment to deeply understand self? My soul? Who I was created to be? I was too busy minding other people’s business, playing hero.

So I shifted. From leading with just nurturing to leading with nurturing accountability. The nurturing is intentionally still there because it is a big part of me and my healing journey.

When I recognised there were aspects of myself that needed reparenting, nurturing and softness is what 6-year-old baby girl needed. She was kind of lost without it. You know why? Because I constantly gave it away like a leaking vase, not knowing that was her strength to keep her showing up whole in her life.

Self-pity became the place where I got stuck. And self-pity needed to die.

Last year I committed to a year-long workshop where the essence of collective healing was shared with me. So beautiful. So soul-filling. What a dream to experience being held space for in this way. One topic stuck:

“Healing to become whole.” That phrase triggered this writeup and this season of meeting myself.

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Holistic expression of self and life is what and how I see life to be experienced. Last year I started asking myself: How would you like to experience life today, lovely? Dropping the intense fear of truly and deeply answering it. Leaning into it as an affirmative reminder of how to self-love and lovingly self-talk. After awakening to meet the day, the morning bliss that is the sun, the fresh air, the rooted leafy trees, the birds singing, I realised I needed to also build up the rhythm of joy of meeting the day through my own life and lens too.

This question became something I would ask myself in the shower mostly, because that’s when it would happen. Almost like it was prompted after my prayer and gratitude moment. Then I could get into my imagination bliss, reminding myself of how it’s a beautiful day to be me and why that is, showing myself to myself. Moments of tears and deep emotions happen too, but remembering that I’m meeting my whole self here in this moment, so whatever may come up, we speak to gently. In kindness and in nurturing accountability.

Healing to become whole.

This particular topic stuck with me because it reflected an aspect of myself that I’ve been embodying and embracing so that it’s reflected outward.

Because healing is not what we all think it is.

If I may put it to you: it’s honestly a sacred opportunity to meet yourself deeply. A miracle, might I add. A pathway to arising, to awakening to your true self again. Almost like tapping into that childlike curiosity and joy. Healing doesn’t create something new in you. It reveals what was always there. It peels back the layers so you can return to yourself.

I’m of the belief that when we allow ourselves to acknowledge the whole truth of our being, our make and design, we are beginning the journey of exploring and experiencing life from and through the essence that is wholeness. There are aspects of yourself that you haven’t met, seen or experienced yet, and so how you choose to show up and experience life will determine when and how you meet those aspects and parts. That is the life journey.

On my healing journey, I’ve recognised that at each layer I’ve gotten to discover aspects and parts of myself that were unknown to me. Parts I was unconscious of. When you choose to act on healing something, the miracle of experiencing life in fullness and wholeness will meet you on the other side. This is the receiving posture.

You open yourself to what’s already divinely yours.

Building to (BE)come whole is the point of expression I’ve been exploring, and I think it’s time to meet myself fully here.

The connection point between these two is the conscious journey: healing to become whole, to then express building to (BE)come whole. The emphasis on BE is intentional. This isn’t building as accumulation, collecting titles, achievements, and external validations. This is building as embodiment and integration. The being within the building. The giving posture that flows naturally once the internal work has been honoured.

Creating that point of view. The act. The action of expression.

Here’s to embracing and integrating building in wholeness this season.

Your reminder that you are divine perfection. Meet yourself where you are to deeply discover this essence that is you. The Love Notes to Self cards are your practice, a daily invitation to speak life into yourself and self-talk with kindness and grace. Use them. Return to them. Let them help you remember. (Coming Soon)

Hold space for yourself today, lovely. x